Tears of chenille

Her door opened in the middle of the night. The doorknob thumped against the wall, and the voices coming from the hall rode in screams into the room. The girl’s eyelids went so wide that her eyes looked like they were going to escape, and her mouth closed so tightly that she could feel her teeth gnash.

A lamp in the living room gave off the only light illuminating the house that night. A couple of shadows were projected against the wall that was right in front of her door. The larger figure twisted over the smaller one, flapping its hands as if it was trying to destroy it. The smaller figure seemed wanting to stretch out, trying to defend itself and shaking violently.

Her father paced back and forth, yelling words she was not allowed to say. He was taking things from all places and throwing them into a suitcase that already contained more than it could handle. Her mother was crying with rage and clenching her fists against her body while shouting other words she was forbidden to use.

They both stopped for a moment in front of the door. Her father said he wanted to say goodbye to the girl, but her mother said she would not allow it. He screamed that it was his right, she said a man like that had no right to get close to such a pure and innocent girl. Then came more shouting of adult words she didn’t understand.

The door to the street opened, and both figures turned into shadows. Then came the noise of a suitcase spilling its contents across the room, and more screams. Heavy footsteps in and out of the house. Things banging in her parents’ room. The sound of an engine. Squealing tires. A neighbor yelling. Voices turning into whispers. The street door closing. Silence.

The girl clung to her blankets. She searched for her teddy bear, but it wasn’t in its habitual place by her pillow. As she moved, the tears that had pooled in her eyes trickled down her face. She stood still for a while, feeling she should cry, but she couldn’t. She needed her bear. She started looking for it between the covers and under the bed, but it wasn’t there. Suddenly she saw it lying face down, trapped between the bed and the nightstand. She thought he must be terrified and reached out for it. Tears kept slipping from her eyes and fell on the bear’s back.

When she managed to take it, she took him to her side and got him under the sheets. She hugged him with all the strength she had and knew that he was as scared as she because he was full of tears. They comforted each other, vowed to be brave, and left the room holding hands. They walked into the living room, the door was ajar, and they could hear several voices whispering outside. Her mother was talking with the neighbors.

She decided to sit on the couch and turn on the TV. A man was talking about the most wonderful vacuum cleaner in the world, capable of getting rid of all the dirt and reaching the most difficult places. She wondered if it could wash away the tears and make everyone happy again.

Her mother entered the room and closed the door behind her. She approached her and hugged her with the same strength with which she had hugged her bear moments ago. The bear was caught in the middle of the hug. He couldn’t stop crying.

The girl asked about her father. Her mother replied that he would not return that night. Then she asked when he would return, and her mother told her that they should go to sleep. That question would be answered years later with a letter from a man apologizing for his absence and speaking with empty words about pride.